The disease of docility and deference

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I read Arvind Adiga’s Booker prize winning novel “White Tiger” last year. Adiga has written at length about the subservient attitude of the people living in the ‘darkness’. The protagonist in the book repeatedly said that the desire to be a servant had been bred into him and hammered into his skull, nail after nail. In another chapter, Adiga wrote that hundreds of roosters and hens are stuffed into wire cages in meat shops. They see the organs of their brothers and sisters lying around, they know they are the next, yet they cannot rebel and how the very same thing is done with humans in this (India) country.

Like most things India and Pakistan, I started comparing the situation in Pakistan and came to the naïve and extremely biased conclusion that things are not as bad. Yes, we have bonded labour in parts of Sind and Southern Punjab but Pakistanis, in general, are not afflicted with the disease of docility and deference. I was wrong.

Yesterday, I was watching a TV report on Shazia Masih’s murder case. Our domestic help Parveen sat with me and watched the whole report. Once it was over, I switched off the TV and we both sat in silence thinking about the poor little girl who lost her life in such a gruesome way. Suddenly Parveen stood up and asked if Amanat, one of the accused, who was responsible for the Shazia’s employment at Advocate Naeem Chaudhry’s was really related to her? As there were conflicting reports, I said I really don’t know. He could be related to her or perhaps he was just an acquaintance. Parveen, a Punjabi Christian like Shazia, said that if he was Shazia’s uncle, he should be hanged in public view. I was surprised by her reaction, not only because Parveen is one of the gentlest souls I know but as far as I am concerned, the main culprits in this murder case were Shazia’s employers, the state and all the people who hire under age children to do domestic chores and ill treat them. When I probed a little further, Parveen said that one cannot trust the employers, most of them would want to discipline the maid by slapping her but if the guy who got her the employment is her uncle, he should have ensured that the employers would not beat her. The first thought that came to my mind was Arvind Adiga’s iron wire cage and the people in it, unwilling or perhaps too afraid to question or point fingers in the right direction. For Parveen, it is but acceptable that employers may want to use physical force to discipline an underage child.

While every politician from Nilofar Bakhtiar to Raja Reyaz and Sharif Brothers are using the murder as a godsend photo-op, and members of the civil society and intelligentsia are crying hoarse over lack of implementation of labour laws, is there anyone paying attention to the inbred servility of people, which in a way corroborate such heinous acts again and again?

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Going back to journalism!!! (updated below)

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If I had a penny for every time someone asked me to go back to journalism, I would be fairly well off if not down right rich. Someone I value very highly recently asked me if I ever planned to go back to earn my living through the written word. Honestly, I don’t mind going back to journalism but the problem is that my skills are not valued much by the decision makers in the print world. A couple of months back, someone I know who works for a media organization mentioned my work to her employer who called me in for a chit chat (as he labeled it). I went in, had a “chit chat” with him and it was very nice and cordial. He asked me what position I am aiming for. Ideally I would want to work as a staff writer who would just write, but as most Pakistani papers do not hire writers, I said that I would like to work as an Assistant Editor. To which he said that he does not know if his newspaper would have that particular post and he does not know how a newspaper works so I will have to come back and speak with his editor. A couple of days later, I got called and went to meet the executive editor. I was called for an 11.30 appointment and being a stickler for punctuality, I reported at 11.27am.

I was made to wait for one hour and 15 minutes. After waiting that long, some guy came out and called another girl in who entered just five minutes earlier. When I said that I should be called in first because my appointment was for 11.30, he blinked his eyes at me for a full thirty seconds and then asked my name and vanished. The same fellow came back after five minutes and profusely apologized to the other girl (who was a hot babe by the way) that she will have to wait. I looked at him incredulously; he made me wait for 75 minutes, he was rude to me and he is apologizing to the other girl! I made a mental note to tell the editor about the incompetent HR staff. I was in for the shock of my life when I was introduced to him and found out that he is the EDITOR.

As if this was not enough, the interview was a bigger ordeal. The editor and the executive editor did not have my CV and were not familiar with my work so they asked me what have I done with my life. It was like a contest; market yourself best in 3 minutes, your time starts now. I started telling them about myself (or what I could have remembered because I managed to pack in a lot of useless shit in my life) but was getting distracted because the editor was writing everything down in a notebook with a bloody PENCIL which was making a scratching sound. They called me twice, they made me wait for eons, the least they could have done was to print out my fucking cv.

Kher, among other things, I told them that I have monitored general parliamentary elections in a couple of countries as an international observer. In response, the editor asked why did I leave that job. I wanted to scream; "Hello! Election monitoring is NOT a job," but I smiled and very patiently explained to him like you explain to a fairly dull five year old that its a gig that you get when you are extremely lucky and it is done voluntarily, no one makes any money out of it and while its all glorious and noble, you need to make money in order to live a decent life.

In addition, I mentioned all my writing experience and all my international publications and the editor goes, “But what about subbing. Have you ever done subbing?” For the uninitiated, sub editing in newspaper lingo is generally referred to as subbing. It is the most thankless and tedious job in the world and I have done it for quite some time and would not like to go back to it. I told him that I have done it in the past. He then wanted to know what kind of subbing I have done so I told him about it all; I have done hard news, reports, features everything. He then wanted to know who did I report to in the newsroom, and when he failed to recall my old boss, he looked at me as if I was lying. Mercifully, the executive editor knew my former boss and intervened.

By that time, I gathered that the interview was not going anywhere so I mentioned that I also write a blog which does get some hits (a big thank you to all my readers). I told them that my work has repeatedly been reviewed by Press Trust of India and is published in numerous Indian newspapers and websites which I might add does not happen with a lot of writers of either new media or mainstream media, so if I join their newspaper, I will be bringing in my own readers from across the border and USA ... and that’s where the internet based ads money is. I also told him to ask dawn.com’s editor about the number of hits my work has generated, how much it was linked and what is my google search value.

In response to my tirade – for someone who sucks at self promotion, my performance was Oscar worthy – he gave me a blank look and said, “But working in a newspaper and writing a blog are not the same.” I honestly did not know what to say to that and then he went on and on about my lack of subbing experience. As I was at the end of my tether, I said, “I don’t know how old do you think I am, but I am fairly experienced and I am NOT really looking for an entry level subbing position.” I was politely told that the interview was over and I will be notified soon. Six weeks later, I was sent an email which told me that I could not compete with other 'more competent' applicants.

For starters, I never applied for any job in their organization. They are the ones who called me so I was not competing for anything with anyone. As far as the level of competence is concerned, it was rich coming from a guy who is not even conversant with some of the people in politics and have made some serious mistakes in the past. If I recall correctly, he mixed up Mahmud Ali Durrani (former National Security Advisor) with Mohammed Ali Durrani
(PML - Q Senator and former minister) when he wrote a piece for Hindustan Times, a faux pas par excellence.

I guess I am fairly lucky that I was not competent enough to actually get that job, imagine what it would have done for my sanity.

(I know, it's a fairly long personal rant).

Update:

Something pleasantly surprising just happened. The publisher of the aforementioned media house just called me to express deep regret for the way I was treated. To say that I was shocked would be putting it mildly. It was not only unexpected but also unprecedented. He said that he will ensure that incidents like this would not happen in future.

I thought if I can share my grief with everyone here, I should be decent enough to let people know that may be things are not that bad and some kind of professionalism is creeping in our beloved industry.

Thanks a lot Mr. Publisher; it was really nice of you.

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Now Aafia Siddiqui is using racism to save her

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Aafia Siddiqui has learnt how to work the American justice system to her advantage. She has now asked the judges to spend tax payers’ money on DNA testing of all the prospective members of jury at her trial to screen the presence of a Jewish person in the jury.

It must be noted that Dr Aafia Siddiqui had no qualms in accepting scholarship and stipend money from a renowned Jewish institution like Brandeis University from where she obtained her PhD degree but now she deems it inappropriate that Jewish people be part of jury at her trial.

According to news reports, Ms Siddiqui has repeatedly called into question the integrity of the court and its ‘Zionist’ allegiances and has also attempted to fire her lawyers.

She said: “If they have a Zionist or Israeli background . . . they are all mad at me. I have a feeling everyone here is [Jewish] — subject to genetic testing. They should be excluded if you want to be fair. “I’m boycotting the trial, just to let all of you know. There are too many injustices. I’m out of this.”

Her trial has been delayed repeatedly while psychological tests are carried out, of course on tax payers’ money.

If the US justice department continues to treat people like Aafia Siddiqui with kid gloves, there is likelihood that they are freed as double agents back into their supposed ‘home’ countries to wreak further havoc. I, for one, do not want people like her back in the country. She is a naturalized US citizen who chose US over Pakistan. I say she stick it out in the US where she will be held accountable to her racist comments. Sadly, no one would bat an eyelash at such blatant display of racism in Pakistan.





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Mr. Dasti, eat your heart out !

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Earlier today, I saw something that made me very very happy.

There is a road in Karachi that is named after our former hockey player (the one who was recently fined by one Mr Dasti) Shahid Ali Khan. I don’t know if the road was named way before the hockey player was fined for hugging a lady or maybe the City District Government Karachi decided to demonstrate solidarity with our former national hockey player and basically showed Mr Dasti of Standing Committee on Sports a BIG FAT MIDDLE FINGER.

Dasti, eat your heart out. No matter how many sportsmen you fine, you will never have a road named after you. For that, you need to show talent and greatness or die a political shaheed; you are not capable of either.





PS: I believe Mr Shahid Ali Khan never had as loyal a fan during his heydays as he recently found one in me; only because he indulged in things that are 'alien' to Pakistani KULTURE

Pakistani hockey team fined for hugging a woman !!!

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Mr. Dasti will not let go of any opportunity to get famous at the expense of others. After inquiring into Pakistan cricket team’s semi final place in the Champion’s Trophy and getting his 15 minutes of fame, the man decided he can make a career out of irritating various sportsmen and can continue to get coverage for his nuisance value.

The latest in the drama called Senate’s Standing Committee on Sports is that they fined members of the national hockey team after photos were surfaced of them hugging a female liaison officer at the Champions Challenge tournament in Argentina last month.

One of the players, Rehan Butt along with the coach Shahid Ali Khan and manager Asif Bajwa were fined Rs 200,000 for spreading some love.

Dasti could not have reproached them for bad performance – they were the runner ups and lost the finals to New Zealand – so he decided to fine them for hugging a lady. While fining the members of Pakistan Hockey team, Mr. Dasti came up with some quotable pearls of wisdom. He said:

It is not our culture to hug a lady.

He also threatened/warned the coach Shahid Ali Khan and said:

If I would have to take the decision you all could have ended up in a lock up after the team returned home. Don't get yourselves involved in such parties in future tournaments abroad.

As if this was not enough there was a female member of the committee Nasim Akhtar Chaudhry and she also wanted her share of limelight in the media. She said:

We have our own traditions, our own culture which should be portrayed abroad. We didn't shake hands with males when our women parliamentary delegation visited the US last year and here they are giving a hug to a lady.

Poor coach Shahid Ali Khan explained it all and said that it was an official dinner and the lady asked to get pictures taken with the players and they obliged.

So what if they got some pictures taken with a woman? They were just spreading some good cheer and love and the senate committee thought there was something wrong with that? I think it would have been churlish if they refused her the pictures. In any case, Pakistan is a cricket loving nation; no one actually notices the hockey players let alone get their pictures taken with them. As sportsmen they also deserve some praise, and if they are getting it elsewhere, then great. In a way, the hockey players must be secretly pleased, at least they got noticed and people are talking about them.

If I have my way, I would fine the members of Standing Committee on Sports and would demand that Mr. Dasti resign as soon as possible. He is the biggest threat to sports and sportsmen and sportswomen in the country.




Look at the poor kid, he looks so happy

New Year Facebook status updates from hell

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As soon as we are done with Christmas, emails, text messages and general announcements regarding the impending end of the year start appearing on social networking sites, wishing no one in particular. 

There are those who want to sound philosophical and super intellectual and they would use words like existentialism and nihilism in their facebook status updates. One such update goes something like this:

This whole New Year business is just another reaffirmation of the inherent nihilism of our existence. Suddenly whats important is the launch of a new set of an arbitrary number of days, at an arbitrary moment in time initially chosen by an arbitrary group of people, an arbitrary number of years ago. Great going mankind.

WTF? Does anyone even bother reading stuff like this after the first line?

Then there are those who want the rest of us to know that they live in cooler places and actually have a life. Their status updates would be something like:

Having the time of my life at Sydney Harbour Bridge, yeayyyy!!!!

Or

Happy new year to you all from snowy NYC!!!

Notice that such messages are followed by multiple exclamation marks, as if living in New York is exclamation worthy or a snowy NYC in December is a sign of wonder. 

There are some who just want to sound enigmatic or contradictory or both and they would write something along the lines of:

Happy New Year. We live in shitty times.

Or

Looking back with gratitude, looking forward with hope.

I find such statuses most annoying. Gratitude for what? Hope for what? The sooner we lose hope and come to terms with the fact that life is gallactically fucked up, the better it is for the sanity of the society in general and for the cyber dwelling facebooking cynics like me in particular.

Apart from the dreamy or intellectual ones, there are some practical types. They don’t wish for world peace -- they know it is unattainable -- they only want prosperity and opportunity for their loved ones. One such message that I saw last night goes something like:

Happy new year to all my friends and family members. May this year bring us lots of wealth, prosperity and opportunities in our life (Aameen)

And last but not the least is the super cheery ones. They are so happy, they can make you go blind with optimism and turn anyone normal into a homicidal maniac with their glee. Check this one out:

--- is wishing everyone an Extremely Happy New Year 2010! May we all lose our belly fat and unsightly pimples, get gorgeous hair and hefty pay-raises and may the wrath of the Almighty fall upon anyone who looks prettier than us in group photographs. Amen! xXx ♥

What is wrong with this person? Why is she so happy over a bloody new year? Did she win a Pulitzer Prize, or an Oscar? Has she spoken with Kurt Cobain’s ghost who told her about a huge stash of heroine that he had hidden back in 1990 and is now worth millions? Did she sign a million dollar book deal? Has she shacked up with Prince William or did she win a fucking lottery? 

We are finally here, in 2010 and we shall be here for another 12 months. Can we get it done and over with New Year messages please?

Update: The number of people ended up on my post looking for best new year facebook status updates is astounding. Facebook apparently rules.