Reminiscing about the good ol' times and doing more

US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reiterated the old message of doing more while meeting the Pakistani state officials here on Friday. In addition to 'doing more' she wanted Pakistan to 'squeeze the Haqqani network' from the border areas. As if 'doing more' was not an odd request to begin with, she now wants the jarnail to get serious and get rid of the network - pigs might fly sooner. Rumour has it that Jarnail's monetary supply has been restored and now he is in a quandary as to how best play both sides and develop a few more DHAs.

In another news, Hina Rabbani Khar is found wondering why her charms are not working on Secretary Clinton like they did on Mr. S.M.Krishna even though she wore the same strings of pearls.

HRK is feeling a little intimidated while Secretary Clinton is reminiscing about good ol' times

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... and here are those good ol' times.

Moenjodaro for DHA?

The bad news of the day – and we get plenty of bad news everyday here in Pakistan – is that we do not have enough funds to preserve Moenjodaro. Super sad news, I know. When I read this one out loud, there was a collective awwww in the office. Everyone sighed and shared their own Moenjodaro story. Apparently, the rising water table and salt levels in the soil are threatening the 5000 year old ruins. Sind government allocates a paltry 100 million rupees and funds coming in from UNESCO have proved to be insufficient in attracting the best minds in archeology to save the world heritage site. 

A conference on preservation of Moenjodaro in Karachi urged to create a global fund and a pool of competent conservation research experts to explore the challenge at hand and to devise a custom-made solution that will work.

I am no expert and all I know about archeology was gleaned from Indiana Jones and The Mummy films but I too have a suggestion. I suggest that Moenjodaro be placed with the local DHA. Even when the whole country is going to the dogs, there is always enough money to be invested in developing new DHAs and golf courses and clubs that go with it. If we declare Moenjodaro the latest DHA, there will be new roads, better access to amenities of life, a golf course and a club in the area and all those foreign experts, who may have shied away from coming to the dusty environs of Larkana for the lack of a night life, may be persuaded to relocate and help preserve the ancient site.

What say people, Moenjodaro for the latest DHA? 

Our parliamentarians and other animals

The first time I noticed Abid Sher Ali was when he made Farrah Dogar the most famous/notorious high schooler in Pakistan. As the chair of National Assembly’s standing committee on education, he went anal about her being awarded a few extra points in her high school marks sheet and provided fodder to reams of newsprints and hours of “analysis” on television about state of education, corruption of judiciary and abuse of power. He even went after the employees of FBISE for accommodating CJ Dogar’s request. Now I am all in favour of meritocracy and rule of law but my heart went out for the 18 year old girl who was made a laughing stock on national and satellite tv for point scoring with her father, former CJ of Supreme Court of Pakistan. I also was kinda pissed about selective amnesia plaguing Mr. Abid Sher Ali when he forgot about Ms. Mariam Nawaz (D/o of former almost Ameer-ul-Momineen janab Baray Mian Sahab) being awarded extra points to get in medical college. 

Apart from vowing to take Justice Dogar to cleaners repeatedly, Mr Abid Sher Ali – a thorough gentleman – also has a penchant for getting loud and obnoxious with ladies of other political parties. His emotional outbursts against Speaker Fehmida Mirza and Ms. Sharmila Farooqui are well documented. But everything that has happened in the past was actually leading up to this moment of perfect mayhem when he wanted to get physical in the hallowed environs of the parliament with another parliamentarian. He first wanted to punch and then tried to throw a bunch of parliamentary directories at an MQM legislator Mr. Sajid Ahmed; unfortunately, another PML-N MNA intervened and stopped him.

Peace and sobriety are indeed much desired traits but I so wanted him to throw some kick ass punches at MQM’s Sajid Ahmed for disrupting the tirade of Chaudhry Nisar Ali Khan. Imagine how MQM would have reacted if it actually happened? They probably would have sued Mr. Sher Ali for every imaginable grievance and more. Imagine the number of hours of tv debate it would have generated! Imagine how many experts on constitutional decorum would have sprung! Regrettably, he was stopped from taking the parliamentary proceedings to the next level and we are stuck with making fun of “Dr.” Rehman Malik and his apple/banana jokes which are kinda stale now.

Here is our esteemed parliamentarian Mr. Abid Sher Ali in all his violent glory; may he get even more inventive with insults and go from strength to strength.

PS: The title is borrowed from Gerald Durrell’s autobiography My Family And Other Animals. No disrespect is intended towards either Gerald Durrell’s family or the animals they have housed. 

PPS: Here is an awesome montage of the glorious moments by Dunya Tv. 

PPPS: I know this post is about Abid Sher Ali and I should have pasted his photo but who can resist a beaming Dr Rehman Malik in academic robes and rosy cheeks. 

And the propaganda lives on

Who said propaganda died with Dr Goebbels?

This is one picture that is doing rounds on social networking websites these days. The premise of the photograph  is that Mian Nawaz Shareef is meeting Dengue victims with a mask on his face while Imran Khan – the sher jawan of Pakistan (at 59 with wrinkles to match those on Mick Jagger’s face, he is anything but sher jawan) is this fearless man who is meeting common people without security or either the armoured guards or a mask. 

Now we all know that Mian sahib is not the most awami leader in Pakistan but then we are all in the know that Khan Sahib too does not suffer aam janta or dissenting voice all that gladly. Looks like Pujnab will be the fiercest battle ground in next elections. The establishment’s PR machinery is hard at work in establishing Imran Khan as the messiah who will deliver; no one seems to care as to what will be delivered by the erstwhile Kaptaan at this point in time.