Pakistani society has taken vigilantism to epic proportions. As if cases under blasphemy ordinance against people for taking off milad posters and offering water were not enough we now have a brand new blasphemy case against a 17 year old high school student for allegedly making derogatory remarks about Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) in three of his answer sheets – Urdu, Islamiat and Physics – in his intermediate exams.
Unlike the above mentioned cases which were filed in rural Punjab by semi literate maulanas, this one was filed in Karachi by the controller of examinations of the Intermediate Board of Education, Karachi. The 17 year old is now in juvenile prison. He has pleaded guilty and appealed to the judicial magistrate for pardon. He has apologized and promised that he would never commit 'such a sin' again.
For starters, this kid is obviously troubled. He is a teenager dealing with existentialist anguish which is quite common in young people who think. What else would explain his supposedly blasphemous answers in a Physics paper! If anything, this kid needs to be listened and if possible counseled by professionals, not thrown in jail with common criminals.
Secondly, if I am not mistaken, a teacher is only supposed to grade the paper. Passing judgment on the contents of the paper and moral policing has never been part of an instructor’s duties. In fact they cannot even fail the students or take actions against them if what the students have written is against their religious or moral ideology. They most certainly have no right to instigate criminal action against an underage kid on the basis of his answer sheet.
In addition, an answer sheet is a private document and the controller of exams, Professor Agha Akbar had no right to make it public or use it as evidence against the boy in this case. If anyone needs a quick lesson in Ethics 101, it is the professor sahib, not the high school kid. The Intermediate Board is using the blasphemy law to coerce a student to form opinions as deemed fit by the institution.
This incident also gives a clear message to other conflicting souls; you stay quiet and suffer in silence instead of debating the questions that trouble you. It also indicates that young people have cannot express their genuine opinion in their papers and will only be saved if they write answers memorized by rote learning. Critical thinking, in anyways, is over rated in the land of pure. We want to produce assembly line products for human being with no room for dissenting voices.
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
Friday, 7 January 2011
Are we next in line after Salmaan Taseer?
Just when you thought you have seen it all and are now uncomfortably numb, something else jolts you and makes you wonder if indeed you are living in a horrendous wonderland because none of it makes any sense at all.
Jamat-ud-dawa, a supposedly “banned” outfit which ideally should not be issuing any statements at all has also jumped in and said that Salmaan Taseer’s assassin be tried under Shariah courts. Jamaat-ud-Dawa leader Maulana Amir Hamza, who is the convener of Tehrik-e-Hurmat-e-Rasool (and we thought there was just one outfit fighting for the noble cause of khatm-e-nabuat) not only wants Qadri be tried in accordance with the Islamic law and the "sentiments of Muslims" he is all praises for the maulvis who refused to lead funeral prayers for the slain governor.
His statement can also be construed as a veiled threat to the judges presiding over the case as he commanded them to respect the wishes of the people who think like him. His exact words are, "The courts must respect our sentiments," and we all know what happen to people who not pay attention to such threats. Sherry Rehman has already been warned by none less than the interior minister himself to leave the country. Those of us who choose to stay here should be well aware than they can come for us anytime.
PS: A few of my readers emailed me and asked me why I do not use the prefix of Shaheed with Salmaan Taseer if I respect his stance so much. The answer is quite simple, it is our national obsession with martyrdom that has given birth to crackpot fanatics like Qadri. I am sure we can do with a little less martyrdom and more pragmatism.
PPS: Pasted below is the reworked version of my previous post for Express Tribune.
What irony!
Just a few weeks before Governor Salmaan Taseer was assassinated brutally, he said that illiterate maulvis cannot decide if he is a Muslim or not. True, but they sure could decide to spew venom against him in Friday sermons across the country and gun for his blood, which they did. They issued edicts against him, they burned his effigies and they called for his blood and, as a result, Salmaan Taseer is no longer among us. He was killed because of his liberal views and his stand against the blasphemy laws, as confessed by his murderer.
Governor Taseer was probably the highest profile victim of the blasphemy law. He was shot dead because he believed all citizens should be treated fairly. He decided to support a poor Christian woman on death row and he was chastised, ridiculed and threatened for supporting minorities. If there is justice in this country, every person who issued fatwa against him, who protested against his opinion and who burned his effigies and who incited bigotry on television should be named in the FIR and held accountable for his murder. In addition, all PPP ministers playing to the populist gallery, who defended the blasphemy law, should be hauled along with the other culprits.
In a society where dogma is the currency to get populist support, Salmaan Taseer was a refreshing rationalist and humanist. His death will be mourned because he was a voice of sanity, he was one of the few good men who wanted similar rights for everyone irrespective of their religion, caste, gender and ethnicity. He was an entrepreneur, a politician, a great wit and a positive man who believed in this country. After his brutal murder, there are many of us who are not too hopeful about this country, which will now be branded as one where people cannot dare to speak their mind. If the felicitations about his death are any indication, we are a truly doomed lot that celebrates a murder most foul.
Anyone who thought that the governor’s dreadful demise will bring a positive change, needs to wake up and smell the putrid cesspool that passes as our society. Members of the Jamaat-e-Ahle Sunnat Pakistan have asked the good Muslims of the country not to offer funeral prayers of Governor Taseer and have paid tribute to his murderer. Taseer’s death sends this message to the handful of Pakistanis who are openly liberal: that they need to get their act together or they could be next in line to have their guts splattered on the roadside by a fanatic who thinks doing so will take him to heaven.
Governor Taseer, may you rest in peace. You were a brave, brave man and you will always be remembered as one.
Published in The Express Tribune, January 7th, 2011.
Jamat-ud-dawa, a supposedly “banned” outfit which ideally should not be issuing any statements at all has also jumped in and said that Salmaan Taseer’s assassin be tried under Shariah courts. Jamaat-ud-Dawa leader Maulana Amir Hamza, who is the convener of Tehrik-e-Hurmat-e-Rasool (and we thought there was just one outfit fighting for the noble cause of khatm-e-nabuat) not only wants Qadri be tried in accordance with the Islamic law and the "sentiments of Muslims" he is all praises for the maulvis who refused to lead funeral prayers for the slain governor.
His statement can also be construed as a veiled threat to the judges presiding over the case as he commanded them to respect the wishes of the people who think like him. His exact words are, "The courts must respect our sentiments," and we all know what happen to people who not pay attention to such threats. Sherry Rehman has already been warned by none less than the interior minister himself to leave the country. Those of us who choose to stay here should be well aware than they can come for us anytime.
PS: A few of my readers emailed me and asked me why I do not use the prefix of Shaheed with Salmaan Taseer if I respect his stance so much. The answer is quite simple, it is our national obsession with martyrdom that has given birth to crackpot fanatics like Qadri. I am sure we can do with a little less martyrdom and more pragmatism.
PPS: Pasted below is the reworked version of my previous post for Express Tribune.
What irony!
Just a few weeks before Governor Salmaan Taseer was assassinated brutally, he said that illiterate maulvis cannot decide if he is a Muslim or not. True, but they sure could decide to spew venom against him in Friday sermons across the country and gun for his blood, which they did. They issued edicts against him, they burned his effigies and they called for his blood and, as a result, Salmaan Taseer is no longer among us. He was killed because of his liberal views and his stand against the blasphemy laws, as confessed by his murderer.
Governor Taseer was probably the highest profile victim of the blasphemy law. He was shot dead because he believed all citizens should be treated fairly. He decided to support a poor Christian woman on death row and he was chastised, ridiculed and threatened for supporting minorities. If there is justice in this country, every person who issued fatwa against him, who protested against his opinion and who burned his effigies and who incited bigotry on television should be named in the FIR and held accountable for his murder. In addition, all PPP ministers playing to the populist gallery, who defended the blasphemy law, should be hauled along with the other culprits.
In a society where dogma is the currency to get populist support, Salmaan Taseer was a refreshing rationalist and humanist. His death will be mourned because he was a voice of sanity, he was one of the few good men who wanted similar rights for everyone irrespective of their religion, caste, gender and ethnicity. He was an entrepreneur, a politician, a great wit and a positive man who believed in this country. After his brutal murder, there are many of us who are not too hopeful about this country, which will now be branded as one where people cannot dare to speak their mind. If the felicitations about his death are any indication, we are a truly doomed lot that celebrates a murder most foul.
Anyone who thought that the governor’s dreadful demise will bring a positive change, needs to wake up and smell the putrid cesspool that passes as our society. Members of the Jamaat-e-Ahle Sunnat Pakistan have asked the good Muslims of the country not to offer funeral prayers of Governor Taseer and have paid tribute to his murderer. Taseer’s death sends this message to the handful of Pakistanis who are openly liberal: that they need to get their act together or they could be next in line to have their guts splattered on the roadside by a fanatic who thinks doing so will take him to heaven.
Governor Taseer, may you rest in peace. You were a brave, brave man and you will always be remembered as one.
Published in The Express Tribune, January 7th, 2011.
Tuesday, 4 January 2011
Salmaan Taseer, you brave brave man, may you rest in peace
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Yes, they got another one.
Punjab Governor Salmaan Taseer was attacked and killed in a firing incident in Islamabad’s Kohsar market. Governor Taseer was leaving his residence when one of his guards shot him in the chest. The guard named Qadri, who apparently was part of Rawalpindi’s elite force, shot him 9 bullets in the chest (he was shot a total of 26 bullets). Qadri stated that he killed the governor because of his liberal views and his stand against blasphemy laws.
Governor Taseer is probably the highest profile victim of the blasphemy law. He was shot dead because he was brave, he believed that all citizens should be treated fairly and he died for holding that belief. He decided to support a poor Christian woman on death row and he was chastised, ridiculed and threatened for that. In the end, he was even killed for that. All the PPP ministers such as Khurshid Shah and Babar Awan who defended the law should be hauled along with all the maulanas who burned his effigies and issued fatwas against him for this brutal murder.
I am sitting in my office, unable to move, mourning his death in solitude. I never knew him personally and only communicated with him on twitter but I mourn his death because in a deeply rightist society, he was a voice of sanity. I mourn his death because he was one of us, Pakistanis who want similar rights for everyone irrespective of their religion, caste, gender and ethnicity.
Governor Taseer was an entrepreneur, a politician, a great wit and a positive man who believed in this country. Just a couple of hours before his death, he tweeted this:
Mera azm itna bulund hae Parae sholon se dar nahin.Mujhe dar hae tu atish e gul se hae Ye kahin chaman ko jala na dein
Salman may have believed in Pakistan, but after his brutal murder, I am truly hopeless about this country; he was shot dead because he was man enough to say what he believed in. Just like Salman Taseer, we too should wait for some lunatic to come and gun us down and win his stripes for 72 virgins in heaven.
Governor Taseer, may you rest in peace. You were a brave brave man and you will be remembered as one.
Thursday, 4 November 2010
Women, not allowed
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Women may not visit the mosques in Pakistan but they regularly go to shrines to seek divine intervention for things spiritual and trivial. The tomb of sufi saint Shah Jamal, in Lahore, is one such shrine which attracts a lot of devotees. Women are usually allowed to go to the general area and have a separate area where they can pray, sleep or eat. However, they are forbidden to enter the room which houses the grave of the saint. Shah Jamal is no exception. The entrance to the grave in the general area have this board which says: "Entrance of women is strictly forbidden." I have seen such boards before but what I find humiliating is that now they have added the image of a young girl in pony tails with a red cross sign on it, really pushing the message that women are NOT welcome.
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Interestingly, inside the segregated area, they have this sign which says: "This area is for women only, men are strictly forbidden to enter." However I spotted a few men who were roaming inside. A couple of them were distributing mithaee (traditional sweets) but the rest were just loitering. I guess women do not enforce the edict as vigorously as men do.
I saw a lot of really young girls in the shrine and I was wondering what kind of message the silhouette of a young girl in in pony tails with a red cross sign on would they get. Not a nice one, methinks.
Women may not visit the mosques in Pakistan but they regularly go to shrines to seek divine intervention for things spiritual and trivial. The tomb of sufi saint Shah Jamal, in Lahore, is one such shrine which attracts a lot of devotees. Women are usually allowed to go to the general area and have a separate area where they can pray, sleep or eat. However, they are forbidden to enter the room which houses the grave of the saint. Shah Jamal is no exception. The entrance to the grave in the general area have this board which says: "Entrance of women is strictly forbidden." I have seen such boards before but what I find humiliating is that now they have added the image of a young girl in pony tails with a red cross sign on it, really pushing the message that women are NOT welcome.
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Sign of no entry in the general area
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Sign of no entry in the segregated area for women.
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Interestingly, inside the segregated area, they have this sign which says: "This area is for women only, men are strictly forbidden to enter." However I spotted a few men who were roaming inside. A couple of them were distributing mithaee (traditional sweets) but the rest were just loitering. I guess women do not enforce the edict as vigorously as men do.
I saw a lot of really young girls in the shrine and I was wondering what kind of message the silhouette of a young girl in in pony tails with a red cross sign on would they get. Not a nice one, methinks.
Sunday, 25 July 2010
Child labour & minimum wage
There are direct and indirect linkages between the demographical structure of Pakistan, its economic condition and the number of children employed. Child labour is the result of lack of social security, poverty, unemployment (or under-employment) and excess population. Unless strict measures are adopted, child labour cannot be eradicated. The government should strive to reform and minimise poverty, bring social security in unorganised sectors and curtail the excessive growth of population.
With our alarming population growth rate and an education system that can accommodate about a third of the country’s school-age children, the child labour pool is inexhaustible. Every year millions of children enter the labour force, where they compete with adults – at times with their own parents – for whatever work is available. As a result, a surplus of cheap child labour has reduced the already inadequate adult wage to the point where a parent and child jointly earn less than the parent alone used to previously earn.
As long as children are put to work, poverty will spread and standards of living will decline. In Pakistan, children constitute 52 per cent of the total population. At present, there are 36 million children between the ages of 5 and 15 years in the country. Out of this, an estimated 11 million do not have access to schools and of those enrolled, 12 million drop out before completing their primary education. The most obvious reason for such a glaring gap is the difference between the number of people and the resources at hand. In most families, with an average of 7-9 family members, children are expected to share the economic burden. The median age of children now entering the Pakistani work force is seven. Sometime back, it was eight. In rural areas children become labourers as soon as they can walk. According to the Pakistan Labour Force Survey of 2007-2008, 2.68 million children between the ages of 10 and 14 were working; this does not include the number of working children who are either older or younger than the prescribed age.
If parents are given decent employment opportunities, chances are they will not send their children to work and factories will not be able to exploit them. In fact, parents may produce fewer children which will automatically decrease the number of children available for work. The effectiveness of the concept of minimum wages will be evident when more adults earn a decent wage leading to more children leaving the job market and enrolling into school.
Most employers only hire children as a cost-saving method. If the opportunities for higher income are made available to adults and the minimum wage for both adults and children is universalised – irrespective of their age and productivity – along with a decline in population growth rate, it will impact employment practices and help tremendously in reducing child labour.
The prime minister has repeatedly pointed out that Pakistan is a young nation but has not done much to improve the lot of its young population. No serious legislation has been carried out in the past 20 years for the protection of children. Budgetary allocations for child-centred programmes are negligible and most of the budget on education is spent on salaries for teachers and the administration. There is no statutory body to protect the rights of the biggest group of citizens — the children.
Originally written for Express Tribune
With our alarming population growth rate and an education system that can accommodate about a third of the country’s school-age children, the child labour pool is inexhaustible. Every year millions of children enter the labour force, where they compete with adults – at times with their own parents – for whatever work is available. As a result, a surplus of cheap child labour has reduced the already inadequate adult wage to the point where a parent and child jointly earn less than the parent alone used to previously earn.
As long as children are put to work, poverty will spread and standards of living will decline. In Pakistan, children constitute 52 per cent of the total population. At present, there are 36 million children between the ages of 5 and 15 years in the country. Out of this, an estimated 11 million do not have access to schools and of those enrolled, 12 million drop out before completing their primary education. The most obvious reason for such a glaring gap is the difference between the number of people and the resources at hand. In most families, with an average of 7-9 family members, children are expected to share the economic burden. The median age of children now entering the Pakistani work force is seven. Sometime back, it was eight. In rural areas children become labourers as soon as they can walk. According to the Pakistan Labour Force Survey of 2007-2008, 2.68 million children between the ages of 10 and 14 were working; this does not include the number of working children who are either older or younger than the prescribed age.
If parents are given decent employment opportunities, chances are they will not send their children to work and factories will not be able to exploit them. In fact, parents may produce fewer children which will automatically decrease the number of children available for work. The effectiveness of the concept of minimum wages will be evident when more adults earn a decent wage leading to more children leaving the job market and enrolling into school.
Most employers only hire children as a cost-saving method. If the opportunities for higher income are made available to adults and the minimum wage for both adults and children is universalised – irrespective of their age and productivity – along with a decline in population growth rate, it will impact employment practices and help tremendously in reducing child labour.
The prime minister has repeatedly pointed out that Pakistan is a young nation but has not done much to improve the lot of its young population. No serious legislation has been carried out in the past 20 years for the protection of children. Budgetary allocations for child-centred programmes are negligible and most of the budget on education is spent on salaries for teachers and the administration. There is no statutory body to protect the rights of the biggest group of citizens — the children.
Originally written for Express Tribune
Saturday, 24 July 2010
The perils of traveling by yourself
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If you happen to be a single Pakistani woman traveling on your own, chances are you will get asked questions by fellow travelers, random strangers and at times by the flight attendants that may vary from harmless chit chat to something that would rival a Spanish inquisition.
Once I sat next to a guy with the biggest cowboy hat I have ever seen. He started his inquisition with a Namaste, assuming I am an Indian. Such cultural sensitivity from a cowboy was endearing so I smiled and said hello. If I had known that it would unleash a torrent of questions, I would have stayed quiet.
He asked me what part of India I am from and when I told him that I am actually a Pakistani, he was shocked. His first question was, “You are not wearing a veil, and won’t you be persecuted for not wearing one?”
When I tried explaining that Pakistan is a jumble of contrasts and while in some parts of the country, it is but mandatory to cover yourself from top to bottom, I am spared from that in Karachi but that wasn’t enough and he jumped onto the next question. He asked me if I was traveling for the first time, (It was a Manila to Bangkok flight) and when I told him that I have traveled before, he came to the conclusion that I must have an extra ordinarily liberal father. He then asked me what is it that my dad does for a living. When I told him that he works for a bank, he could not believe it. Apparently my fellow Texan traveler thought my father had to be a doctor to allow me to wander off and that bankers cannot be liberal, at least they are not in America.
On a Dubai – London flight, I had the misfortune of sitting next to a sardarni Aunty. Before I could actually buckle up, she fired the first one, “you are traveling alone?”. To my affirmative answer, she asked me why. I stopped trying to find the seat belt (I later found out that she was sitting on my seat belt) and said, “Because I am going back to college.”
The Aunty was more persistent and asked me again, “but why?” and I decided not to answer that one. Barely two minutes had passed and she got restless again. She asked me if I am married or not. I thought this would be a good opportunity to ask her to let go of my seat belt so I replied, “No, I am not married and would you care to get up a little so that I can retrieve my seat belt.” She got up, not because I asked her to, but because she was shocked that I was an unaccompanied girl, studying abroad who is not even married.
She then asked me with expressions bordering on pity, “You are all by yourself, no friends either.” When I told her that there is absolutely no one I know who is traveling with me she said, “But I am sure someone will pick you up at the airport?” Although no one was coming to pick me up, I said yes, there would be someone who is going to pick me up. I thought that was the end of the conversation, but aunty had other ideas. She pushed her elbow in my ribs and asked me with a wink, “so who is coming to pick you up, a boyfriend or a gora boyfriend?”
Once, I got asked the same set of questions by an aunty from Faisalabad, who then lectured me on the perils of traveling alone and why I should always drag a mehram with me to wherever I go. When I pointed out that I was traveling for work and it would be impossible for me to take anyone with me, she gave me a disapproving look and said, “That is why I am against girls who work. It disrupts the whole system.”
And so the cycle of questions goes on; there can be the standard ‘you are traveling alone? Why? Where are you off to and why are you single – are you even allowed to stay single in Pakistan? What is your caste, where do you work, how much do you earn, and are you allowed to vote?
These type of questions or variations of them are often thrown off one after another but they are each time asked with different expressions and in different tones and accompanied by different gestures, depending up on who is asking them. Is it too much to ask to be left alone by the world and hope to travel in peace for sanity’s sake?
Originally published in Dawn.com
.
If you happen to be a single Pakistani woman traveling on your own, chances are you will get asked questions by fellow travelers, random strangers and at times by the flight attendants that may vary from harmless chit chat to something that would rival a Spanish inquisition.
Once I sat next to a guy with the biggest cowboy hat I have ever seen. He started his inquisition with a Namaste, assuming I am an Indian. Such cultural sensitivity from a cowboy was endearing so I smiled and said hello. If I had known that it would unleash a torrent of questions, I would have stayed quiet.
He asked me what part of India I am from and when I told him that I am actually a Pakistani, he was shocked. His first question was, “You are not wearing a veil, and won’t you be persecuted for not wearing one?”
When I tried explaining that Pakistan is a jumble of contrasts and while in some parts of the country, it is but mandatory to cover yourself from top to bottom, I am spared from that in Karachi but that wasn’t enough and he jumped onto the next question. He asked me if I was traveling for the first time, (It was a Manila to Bangkok flight) and when I told him that I have traveled before, he came to the conclusion that I must have an extra ordinarily liberal father. He then asked me what is it that my dad does for a living. When I told him that he works for a bank, he could not believe it. Apparently my fellow Texan traveler thought my father had to be a doctor to allow me to wander off and that bankers cannot be liberal, at least they are not in America.
On a Dubai – London flight, I had the misfortune of sitting next to a sardarni Aunty. Before I could actually buckle up, she fired the first one, “you are traveling alone?”. To my affirmative answer, she asked me why. I stopped trying to find the seat belt (I later found out that she was sitting on my seat belt) and said, “Because I am going back to college.”
The Aunty was more persistent and asked me again, “but why?” and I decided not to answer that one. Barely two minutes had passed and she got restless again. She asked me if I am married or not. I thought this would be a good opportunity to ask her to let go of my seat belt so I replied, “No, I am not married and would you care to get up a little so that I can retrieve my seat belt.” She got up, not because I asked her to, but because she was shocked that I was an unaccompanied girl, studying abroad who is not even married.
She then asked me with expressions bordering on pity, “You are all by yourself, no friends either.” When I told her that there is absolutely no one I know who is traveling with me she said, “But I am sure someone will pick you up at the airport?” Although no one was coming to pick me up, I said yes, there would be someone who is going to pick me up. I thought that was the end of the conversation, but aunty had other ideas. She pushed her elbow in my ribs and asked me with a wink, “so who is coming to pick you up, a boyfriend or a gora boyfriend?”
Once, I got asked the same set of questions by an aunty from Faisalabad, who then lectured me on the perils of traveling alone and why I should always drag a mehram with me to wherever I go. When I pointed out that I was traveling for work and it would be impossible for me to take anyone with me, she gave me a disapproving look and said, “That is why I am against girls who work. It disrupts the whole system.”
And so the cycle of questions goes on; there can be the standard ‘you are traveling alone? Why? Where are you off to and why are you single – are you even allowed to stay single in Pakistan? What is your caste, where do you work, how much do you earn, and are you allowed to vote?
These type of questions or variations of them are often thrown off one after another but they are each time asked with different expressions and in different tones and accompanied by different gestures, depending up on who is asking them. Is it too much to ask to be left alone by the world and hope to travel in peace for sanity’s sake?
Originally published in Dawn.com
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Saturday, 17 July 2010
Is Monticello a sauce, a casino or a mid level mafia goon?
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Whenever the word Hawaii is mentioned, normal folks think about white sand beaches, cool drinks, surfing and snorkeling. If you are a politically-minded person you may think about Hawaii as the birthplace of the current US president, but no one would think of Hawaii as the academic destination of choice.
Honestly, if I had to spend any time in Hawaii, I would rather soak up the sun on the beach than spend it inside a stuffy library. I know that there are people who go to college in Hawaii but they must have super human discipline to concentrate on academia when waves and wind beckon them to step outdoors.
Our esteemed minister for law and parliamentary affairs, Babar Awan is these days embroiled in a fake degree scandal. Apparently his doctorate degree, obtained from a certain University of Monticello in Hawaii is fake because the said university has been declared a non-recognised and non-chartered institute by the courts in the State of Hawaii. Babar sahib, for starters, you chose to order your (fake) degree from a university named Monticello which either sounds like the name of a casino or a spaghetti sauce from southern Italy, but not the name of a centre of academic excellence. At best, it can be name of a minor character in Mario Puzo’s Godfather trilogy.
Secondly, sir, you already had perfectly respectable degrees from Punjab University for both, bachelors and masters, why did you have to order a fancy doctorate degree from the University of Monticello? Honestly, if I were the investigation officer, I wouldn’t have investigated too much had your fake degree been from average, regular-sounding universities like the University of Montana or a Florida State University, but with a name like Monticello – people were bound to get suspicious. And that is what that has brought you down sir, the name of your chosen university. Next time, pick a better name.
‘Dr’ Babar Awan is not the only one with fake university with a fancy name. International University of America in London is very popular among the parliamentarians from Baluchistan. MPA Shama Parveen Magsi and the infamous minister for postal services Mir Israr Ullah Khan Zehri (his claim to fame is his defence of burying women alive as part Baloch tradition) have so-called accredited degrees from this university. If either of them had bothered to think this through, they would have noticed that there is no room for an ‘International University of America’ in a city like London that boasts a number of top tier universities and colleges. Perhaps minister sahib was too busy defending supposed Baloch traditions – he could not possibly find the time to pursue academic excellence or to even look for a fake degree from a believable university
Mir Humayun Aziz Kurd, the federal minister for livestock chose Eire International University for his fake BBA Marketing degree. Eire is the Gaelic name of Ireland, which except for a tiny minority in Ireland, no one really uses it, but I digress. There is an unaccredited university named Irish International University but perhaps Kurd thought it would be fancier if he used the Gaelic name of the university instead of the regular English. In any case, the university is a sham and according to Wikipedia, its own honorary chancellor calls it “dodgy.”
MNA Mazhar Hayat is also a proud holder of a degree from Winona State University, USA. Unlike Monticello, this is actually a proper university – albeit with a filmi name – but the university has confirmed that Hayat’s degree is a fake. Hayat must have been a fan of Winona Ryder from those ‘Heathers’ and ‘Reality Bites’ days and when one of his henchmen asked him about his degree of choice, he asked them to get him some ‘Winona.’
Originally written for Dawn.com with a different title and the illustration is by Fieca.
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Whenever the word Hawaii is mentioned, normal folks think about white sand beaches, cool drinks, surfing and snorkeling. If you are a politically-minded person you may think about Hawaii as the birthplace of the current US president, but no one would think of Hawaii as the academic destination of choice.
Honestly, if I had to spend any time in Hawaii, I would rather soak up the sun on the beach than spend it inside a stuffy library. I know that there are people who go to college in Hawaii but they must have super human discipline to concentrate on academia when waves and wind beckon them to step outdoors.
Our esteemed minister for law and parliamentary affairs, Babar Awan is these days embroiled in a fake degree scandal. Apparently his doctorate degree, obtained from a certain University of Monticello in Hawaii is fake because the said university has been declared a non-recognised and non-chartered institute by the courts in the State of Hawaii. Babar sahib, for starters, you chose to order your (fake) degree from a university named Monticello which either sounds like the name of a casino or a spaghetti sauce from southern Italy, but not the name of a centre of academic excellence. At best, it can be name of a minor character in Mario Puzo’s Godfather trilogy.
Secondly, sir, you already had perfectly respectable degrees from Punjab University for both, bachelors and masters, why did you have to order a fancy doctorate degree from the University of Monticello? Honestly, if I were the investigation officer, I wouldn’t have investigated too much had your fake degree been from average, regular-sounding universities like the University of Montana or a Florida State University, but with a name like Monticello – people were bound to get suspicious. And that is what that has brought you down sir, the name of your chosen university. Next time, pick a better name.
‘Dr’ Babar Awan is not the only one with fake university with a fancy name. International University of America in London is very popular among the parliamentarians from Baluchistan. MPA Shama Parveen Magsi and the infamous minister for postal services Mir Israr Ullah Khan Zehri (his claim to fame is his defence of burying women alive as part Baloch tradition) have so-called accredited degrees from this university. If either of them had bothered to think this through, they would have noticed that there is no room for an ‘International University of America’ in a city like London that boasts a number of top tier universities and colleges. Perhaps minister sahib was too busy defending supposed Baloch traditions – he could not possibly find the time to pursue academic excellence or to even look for a fake degree from a believable university
Mir Humayun Aziz Kurd, the federal minister for livestock chose Eire International University for his fake BBA Marketing degree. Eire is the Gaelic name of Ireland, which except for a tiny minority in Ireland, no one really uses it, but I digress. There is an unaccredited university named Irish International University but perhaps Kurd thought it would be fancier if he used the Gaelic name of the university instead of the regular English. In any case, the university is a sham and according to Wikipedia, its own honorary chancellor calls it “dodgy.”
MNA Mazhar Hayat is also a proud holder of a degree from Winona State University, USA. Unlike Monticello, this is actually a proper university – albeit with a filmi name – but the university has confirmed that Hayat’s degree is a fake. Hayat must have been a fan of Winona Ryder from those ‘Heathers’ and ‘Reality Bites’ days and when one of his henchmen asked him about his degree of choice, he asked them to get him some ‘Winona.’
Originally written for Dawn.com with a different title and the illustration is by Fieca.
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