This is the story of Tazeen and Imran Khan. It tells us how some people grow up and realize things are not what they seem to be and how some other people regress and become abysmally dense.
1992
Tazeen is a super excited kid. She is one of those kids who will get the chance to meet one of her all time favourite heroes Imran Khan. Not only will she meet him, she will be awarded a badge (along with a goody bag with Imran Khan’s autographed poster) which says, ‘Imran's Tigers’ because Tazeen has raised sufficient amount of funds for the Shaukat Khanum Memorial Trust (a trust founded by Imran Khan) by selling raffle tickets. So determined was Tazeen to earn that 'Imran's Tigers' badge that she twisted the arm of her mother’s jeweler (a Memon Seth of all the people) and sold him a good 100 raffle tickets. Tazeen was ecstatic when she received her badge and shook hands with Imran Khan. Much to her mother’s chagrin, she plastered Imran Khan’s autographed poster in her room for next two years.
1996
Imran Khan launches a political party. Tazeen is no longer a child and is a bit skeptical about Imran Khan’s political future, but she has complete faith in the man. After all, Imran Khan is one of those very few Pakistanis who excelled at whatever they did (cricket, philanthropy, fund raising etc) and she thought politics would be the same.
2002
Tazeen is just out of school, a fresh faced journalist working for a newspaper, and is excited about being able to vote for the first time. She has plans about voting for Mr. Imran Khan’s party. Just before elections, she gets the chance to attend an event hosted in honor of Mr Imran Khan by some women in media group. Imran Khan spoke at length about the importance of justice and fair play. Tazeen is suitably impressed and asks Mr. Khan about his party’s stance on CEDAW. CEDAW is a UN Convention for Eradication of Discrimination Against Women which was signed by People’s Party government, but no further legislation was carried out at either national or provincial level to to modify the laws in accordance with CEDAW. Mr. Khan first asks his associate what CEDAW is. For a politician who is running an election campaign and is talking exclusively with women journalists, it is a gaffe of the highest order. The associate turns out to be just as clueless about CEDAW as Mr. Khan. When Tazeen explains what CEDAW is and asks Mr. Khan about his policy to redress the discriminatory laws, he refuses to acknowledge that there are any discriminatory laws against women in Pakistan. When Tazeen points out Hudood Ordinance, he says that Huddod laws are necessary to keep the morality of people in check. Tazeen is highly disturbed and a little sad at the degeneration of her childhood hero.
2003-04
Tazeen is in England, studying for her Masters degree. Imran Khan got divorced and the news is plastered all over, from respectable newspapers such as Guardian and Times to tabloids such as Sun and Daily Mirror. Everyone had an opinion about it, including Tazeen's Greek & Philippino flatmates. Someone said that Imran Khan mistreated his wife. Tazeen defended Imran Khan's honor and that of her country and refused to believe that Ms. Khan was mistreated by anyone in Pakistan, including her former husband.
2006
Tazeen has all but given up on Imran Khan. A man who once asked Junoon to come up with Ehtesab anthem (a song about accountability of politicians in Pakistan) which took pot shots at BB, Zardari and Nawaz Sharif now takes his political cues from the same Man of Steel (that’s Nawaz Sharif for the uninitiated) and follows an extremely right wing political ideology (if it can be called that).
2007
Tazeen visibly cringes every time Imran Khan appears on Hamid Mir’s talk show and says, “Hamad, tumhain naheen pata, main batata hoon.” (Hamid, you don’t know anything, let me tell you how it all goes).
2008
Tazeen is invited to present a paper at an International symposium on Democracy. Imran Khan is chairing a session. Although it had nothing to do with the session he was chairing, Imran Khan first regaled every one with tales of courage & valor of Justice Iftekhar Chaudhry and then about the impeccable justice system of jirga courts operated by tribes across the country. (Jirga is a council of influential and rich men of a certain tribe who settle disputes amongst themselves. Most often, these disputes are settled through cash payments or through marrying off young girls to men of inappropriate age and/or character as compensation for a crime committed).
Tazeen is neither a super excited kid, nor a fresh faced journalist who is easily impressed by a celebrity. Tazeen is now a cynic par excellence and asks Mr. Khan how can he support independent judiciary and an alternative justice system of jirga court. Aren’t they mutually exclusive? Imran Khan apparently mistook Tazeen for Hamid Mir (although she looks nothing like the infamous Hamid Mir and does not sport a moustache) and says, “Bibi apko kuch naheen pata, main batata hoon.” (bibi, you don’t know anything, let me tell you how it all goes). Tazeen has had enough of Imran Khan and his relentless support for jirga. She intercepts and says, “But Khan Sahib, how can you support a system which institutionally excludes women and poor men from the decision making process?” Imran Khan loses it at that and lashes out at Tazeen. He is red in his face and foaming at the corners of his mouth and says, “Bibi, you stopped me in mid sentence, that’s bad tameezi (bad manners) and I don’t talk to bad tameez (ill mannered) people.”
2009
Tazeen now thinks that Imran Khan is not even a real politician. He is a “Made for TV Politician” who is only good at riling other people in political discussion or telling Hamid Mir that is he is a nincompoop and does not know anything. Tazeen believes that Imran Khan would start doing hair implant infomercials in future which would go something like this:
Main pehlay buhat ganja tha jis ki wajah se kaafe pareshan rehta tha, meri biwi bhi mujhe chor ke chalee gayee, phir mujhe kisi ne Azmat Nai se baal lagwanay ka mashwara diya, bas main forun hi Azmat Nai ke paas gaya ……
Moral of the story: For better or for worse, everything changes.
This post has way too many Desi references and people outside Pakistan & India may not even get it. Many apologies for that.
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