I heard the word Xenophobia for the
first time when I attended my International Relations 101 class. My high school
existence was pretty idyllic where acing Calculus was my biggest challenge. I
had no idea that there existed a world where anyone can fear or hate the other
for being just that – ‘the other’ – someone who looked different, spoke a
different language or believed in a different God.
We
Pakistanis hate ‘the other’ with unmitigated gusto. The capacity to hate ‘the
other’ is not exclusive to us; there will always be some people everywhere who
are more bigoted and dislike ‘the other’. What makes our hatred of ‘the other’
unique is that it has a constitutional sanction in shape of the Blasphemy laws
and Article 295 and we feed that hatred through curricula demonizing ‘the other’.
These laws and others have created an atmosphere of violence and
vigilantism that not only shatters the very fabric of society; it makes the
whole country insecure – for everyone – the persecutors, the persecuted and
everyone in between, but more so for the religious minorities, women and those
who raise voice against that vigilantism.
As
a person who is interested in minority rights, I have been following up on all
the terrible things that go on in the name of vigilantism but it was all kinda
abstract for me before I met Bee through a mutual friend. Bee is a smart,
educated young woman from a well off family who looked fairly satisfied with
her life. When I started cribbing about my lack of decent employment (for me
anything that pays me less than a gazillion rupees is pure unadulterated crap
which basically means all the things I have ever done), she too mentioned that
she would like to do something more dynamic and challenging but she cannot
leave her job. When I asked why, she told me that being an Ahmadi, she is
afraid that she will be judged and/or hounded for her faith. She feels safe in
her current employment because it has a relatively liberal and multicultural
environment – something which is generally lacking in Pakistan. As someone who
has resigned from a well paid job in protest because a colleague refused to
furnish a written apology for bad behavior or because I did not feel like
waking up at the crack of the dawn, I was deeply saddened to know that one
could be forced to stick with a dead end boring job because the alternative
could be harassment or persecution.
I
may sound like an idealist (Which I most certainly am NOT) but I strongly
believe that the key to overcoming the hatred is to start being friends with at
least one of ‘the others’. Once you get to know one ‘other’, chances are that
you would not jump too quickly to judge and persecute the rest of ‘the others’.
I want to salute everyone who goes
out of his/her way to include ‘the other’, to make friends with ‘the other’, to
extend a helping hand to ‘the other’ and to fall in love with ‘the other’. They
certainly make this world a better place. On a personal note, I mourned the
deaths of Shahbaz Bhatti and Salmaan Taseer this year and learned about the
fear that Bee has to face every day, but I also learned that people can come
together in most incredible ways. I cherished the unions of the friends who
dared to love ‘the other’ – a Greek friend from college married an Arab,
another English class mate married a Bangladeshi, a Pakistani friend
married a German and another Pakistani American virtual friend married a half
Japanese half American and is now expecting a baby who is ¼ Japanese, ¼ American
and ½ Pakistani. Three of my friends opened their hearts and homes and adopted
babies from other countries. Anyone who has ever adopted a child would know how
lengthy and at times heart breakingly tedious the process of International
adoption is, but they persisted and they persisted because they had the
capacity to love ‘the other’.
For once in my life, I want to be an
optimist and believe that if my beautiful, wonderful and amazingly awesome
friends can overcome the fear of ‘the other’ and grow to love ‘the other’ as
partners, lovers, friends and children, the rest of the world can follow suit.
Thanks to my most amazing parents
and my fantastic friends who taught me about compassion and understanding, I too have
learned how to appreciate, respect, cherish and love ‘the other’, irrespective
of the differences, at times perhaps because of those very differences. Here is
to the human capacity to love ‘the other’.
