Wednesday 7 April 2010

An open letter to Ayesha Siddiqui

-

Dear Ayesha,
First of all, let me congratulate on you on your impending divorce. People usually commiserate at an event like this one but I know you have fought long and hard for it and you totally deserve all the accolades for having won this battle, as the kids on internet forums say; EPIC!
You are a miracle worker. You have mastered the art of doing impossible things and that too effortlessly. Let me tell you why I believe that you are the smartest Indian woman ever.
First of all, what started off as a blitzkrieg news session on romance of Shoaib Malik & Sania Mirza soon turned into the saga of Shoaib Malik and Ayesha Siddiqui. Every PR firm in India and beyond should be queuing outside your doors to sign you up. You have managed to become the most talked about Indian, nay, South Asian in a very short span of time with doing much. All you had to do was produce a doctored photo (even an organization as virtuous as "Times Now" had to put the disclaimer on their website that they cannot prove the authenticity of the photo) and viola – a person as famous as Sania Mirza was relegated to the back and all of a sudden, it was all about you. Did Shoaib marry Ayesha or not? Did they sleep together or not? Have they made a child together or not? Heck, you even managed to drag a fellow Hyderabadi Mohammed Azharuddin into it and he was so scared of you (rightly so) that he claimed not to have known any Siddiqui family ever. After three days of this hoopla, people started asking, who is this Sania Mirza again. Now who else but you could have done THAT?

People thought that only skinny skanks in their twenties with their big hair and flawless skin stand a chance as serious gold diggers but you have proven them wrong. If rumors are to be believed you are at least ten years older than Shoaib, you probably weigh a 100 pounds more than him, you sport nerdy glasses and wear a black burqa and you still manage to snare him to sign the dotted line – twice – first on the marriage contract and then on the divorce papers. I am sure you must have made some decent amount of money (some say its 40 million Indian Rupees) in the process as well. Once again, you have accomplished the impossible. If the matrimonial ads of jeevansathi.com that spring up on every Indian website are to be believed, getting hitched is big shit. You would strike gold if you start a school where you teach girls to get hitched to eligible, preferably rich and famous, men with limited intellectual capacity and raging hormones. With your proven record, mommies and daddies will line outside your door with bags full of cash to get enrollment in your program. Your intelligence will make so many mommies and daddies and their not so comely girls very very happy.
Baji Ayesha, your ‘mahanta’ knows no boundaries. In this awful economy, you have even created business opportunities for some folks. With your allegations and counter allegations, bookies have started betting on the odds of Shoaib and Sania ever making it to the altar. If you manage to delay the wedding, even by one day, you will be making a lot of people happy – and richer – who have actually put faith in your abilities and betted against the wedding.
Your magic does not only work in India, it spreads it bounties across the border as well. You are so good that you have managed to get a totally useless Apa Firdaus Aashiq (our minister for Family Planning) to work, at least for one day. Her ministry is pretty useless (you can tell that by the number of children being born every second in Pakistan without any planning) but even she jumped in and said that she will present Shoaib and Sania Mirza a family planning kit. She can now claim that she has performed her duties as the minister for at least one day in her tenure.
You have also given the opportunity to extremely farigh PML-N workers in Multan to stage a protest against the FIR you lodged against Malik and provided them with a chance to vent their misplaced anger.
Who would have thought that people in India and Pakistan would ever see eye to eye on anything but you have forced “Save Indian Family Foundation”, a men's rights organization, in supporting a Pakistani man Shoaib Malik. When you filed the case against Shoaib Malik under section 498A of Indian penal code, Save the Indian Family Foundation sprang into action saying that you have misused the domestic violence act and asked that the case be removed against Shoaib as soon as possible. If only you decide to put your magical powers to use for Pakistan - India peace, who knows we may settle water dispute and resolve Kashmir issue. Imagine, millions of children in both the countries who do not go to schools because the governments are busy piling up arms will be able to get education because of that peace and you will end up as the winner of Nobel Peace Prize! You will be right there with the likes of Obama and some other old white dudes. Only you are capable of bringing food and education to millions of South Asian children Ayesha, only you.
You have broken the boundaries of fame that even Ashwariya Rai has not managed to do so. Yesterday, I was surprised to find that my Chinese Uyghur teacher who has lived in Colorado for long and now teaches in Rotterdam and does not know jack about cricket asked me the latest on the Shoaib Malik drama. Between you and Aafia Siddiqui, the name ‘Siddiqui’ is shinning so bright, I see many people taking it up in future for getting famous. Who knows, Mahesh Bhatt may end up making a film titled “There is something about Siddiquis.”
I have two other far more important deadlines to meet but I am so impressed by your brilliance and intellect, I couldn’t wait to appreciate you any longer. You do know that you are a genius.
Baji Ayesha, you rock!!!
From an ardent admirer of your craft.

PS: As per ToI news report, Shoaib had to shell out 150 million Indian rupees in the out of court settlement.

94 comments:

Unknown said...

Tazeen ,

I believe that the satire is unfair to Ayesha .

Now that Shoaib has accepted that he married her and has now divorced in writing as well , the world knows who had been lying.

It does take a lot of courage for a father to come on national TV and say that Shoaib has slept with her daughter .

And why did Shoaib make an overnight compromise after Ayesha's doctor warned him that Siddiqui's have more proof which Shoaib knew.

As a female , i expected you to come in support of Ayesha...

I remain disappointed ...

Pawan Durani

Aneela Z said...

i have to still recover from the news of the Immaculate Conception of the telephone kind...is there nothing the Indians cant do over phone lines...BPOs are so passe. I think Ayesha Apa should run a special class on how to " conceive" over the net/telephone.

Anonymous said...

Great piece. Finally we have something that Indians and Pakistanis can embrace together. I can't wait for the wedding. Please join my facebook group

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/group.php?gid=114709191877419&ref=ts

Nesreeen

Unknown said...

Saw your FB page...WELCOME TO PAKISTAN's NEW DAUGHTER...

Makes a greath thought .... But is she staying in pakistan for more than a couple of days ?

Ladka le kar bhag gayi...

Ayesha Aslam Faisal said...

That was hilarious! Loved this piece.

I think you are absolutely right...there was definitely something fishy about the whole thing.

Anyway I hope we can all see a lot less of these 3 people (i.e. Shoaib M, Sania M and Ayesha S) though I suppose media channels aren't going to let such a juicy story end so easily. I guess we will have to wait till after the wedding to get news channels to give us actual news. :)

ibteda said...

Bravo!!!
Apa Aysha / Maha truly rocks! I'm sure she'd soon be sending her 'yes, You can' story to the Chicken Soup for Soul series.

LE said...

Fabulous!! love the satire.

When is your Fatima Bhutto post due? (assuming you are writing one)
The book sales of gorgeous, half Afghan-Half Pak author in black sari and impeccable English from broken and cursed dynasty have hit the roof.

Mudra said...

I follow this blog usually and enjoy it often. I do disagree on this one, though.

Call me naive, but I don't think her appearance has anything to do with the truth in her claims. To me at least, her side of the story seems persuasive - again, that's subjective and it's a long way to go before anyone can know the truth.

I'm asking you to consider only this - if it turns out that it is true that they were married, that she was ill-treated, that she did miscarry his child and that she was/is in depression because of this whole fiasco, would you be as outspoken as you're being now? :)

How do we know said...

pehle mere ko koi ye samjhaye, ki ye piece itna imp kyun tha? But i agree.. she has relegated everything else to the back.. i dontknow the truth, but i do know that it didnt deserve so much attention.

s~z said...

lol....awesome satire!!!

THEINDIANMUSLIM said...

yours words betray the fact that narrow nationalism is more important to you than the plight of a harassed girl.many misguided indian muslims have rejoiced the union of sania and shoaib as the triumph of the qaum over borders.i think they should read this as a reminder that the hearts of the people of the pak land beat for their compatriots rather than for an ill treated girl of their qaum.i am an indian muslim and i think sania is commiting the biggest unforced error of her life..

Anonymous said...

I don't understand why everyone is rushing to Ayesha Siddiqui's defence over this one.
The girl dug for gold with the best of them, according to some reports Rs. 4 cr were exchanged over the divorce. I'm not saying Shoaib Malik is some angel (he's actually kind of a gigantic douche), but Ayesha Siddiqui is far from some trailblazing feminist doing it for jilted Muslim sisters the world over.

Roshni said...

haha loved this one.
Fatima Bhutto post? ...'ll wait for that one too ^.^

surabhi said...

Hilarious post! the best one on ayesha so far. did not understand why some ppl are disappointed with the female angle. using sister's photo and managing 4 cr compensation after media drama does not speak high of ayesha. i too will look forward to one on fatima.

Ayesha Khan said...

HAHAHAHA... loved it... :) Only you could write such a piece... !!!!

Zoobee said...

Oh wow! I have missed out on all this drama... uh actually *gasp* I did not even know who Shoaib Malik was until this marriage thing with Sania broke...

I wish Sania and Shoaib a happy future together...

-Zoobee

Unknown said...

Excellent and funny!
Ayesha Siddiqqi is a CON woman.

Aayan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aayan said...

Tazeen... No doubt u r a bitch... to cook up such a story about a simple girl... only a slut like u come up with such kind of bizzare story against a simple girl who was subjected to discrimination by the so called rich n famous jerk of pakistan... may be ayesha looks sucks with pounds of fat... but today she has proved herself right in the continous media glare and not only in south asia but around the globe.... let me tell u they have been blessed with good money by the grace of god and their family is one of the known families in the social circuit... its easy to write pages n pages criticising some one as it does not happen to u or ur sis or any one in ur family... refrain from such talks... hope allah give u some sense and forgive u for ur bad deeds!

ammar said...

To all my Indian friends who like to post comments on this blog - please for God's sake use your ethnic names - why hide behind Islamic names! be brave!

@mohammed: nice try - we never spell God as 'god'!

Aayan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aayan said...

@ ammar... thanks... well i m a muslim and a fellow hyderabadi... "God" yeah i just carried away by reading such a cheap blog, No idea how can a girl can write such language for the same sex. Totally surprised.

Salman Qadir said...

wow, this mohammed dude is getting his panties in a knot. If you have so much sympathy for her, why dont you go and marry that lying cheating woman. She is free now to marry any other fellow muslim hyderabdi

tazeen,

kamal kar diya bibi aap ne, ROTFLMAO.

Aayan said...

wow... u r free to choose ur words n i am free to make the choice of my actions.. so keep on bitching @ salman qadir..

Venkat said...

Just one word. Epic.

Blink 182 said...

Dude,
you pwned them all, ayesha, her beau shoaib his gf sania.

this mohammed dude rants and then deletes his own rants. eejet moron

Unseen Rajasthan said...

Sania is not having a good time these days both in Tennis and in personal life !!Nice truth revealing article..

Aayan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Nice post....although I dont see anything wrong with what Ayesha has done especially when Shoaib has admitted his guilt and given Ayesha divorce.

On a different note...some much better open letters - to Sania Mirza and Shoaib...

http://www.fakingnews.com/2010/04/an-open-letter-to-sania-mirza-returned-by-postal-department/

http://www.fakingnews.com/2010/04/an-open-letter-to-shoaib-malik-hope-this-one-is-delivered/

Romeo Hyderabadi said...

Here is a bottom-line to all this saga:

1) Mohtarma Sania Mirza is a Indian superstar, she fell in love with a Muslim guy aka Shoib Malik and both decided to marry! She chose her life-partner whose 'worst' attribute = he is a Pakistani!!!

2) Indians and Indian media couldn't 'hazzam' this that how come a Pak boy marrying our darling.

3) Masoom Ayesha Siddiqa issue was never there for Indian Media for the last 8 years but all of sudden when the whole country was caught off guarded by the marriage news of Shoaib & Sania - a hell broke loose! Of course he is a Pak boy!

4)Indian media all of sudden made conclusions without regarding Islamic tehnical laws and pass the verdict that Shoaib is a villian. They did not care what Hyderabdi Cheif Qazi said about a 'phone nikkah', they did not give a damn about Rashid Latif's and Azharuddin's statement, they did not care about difference between Maha and Ayesha Siddiqui.

4) And then we found some fake 'Hyderabadi Muslims' who are against Shoiab Malik! They must be from Sania's reject list of wanna be 'Mr. Sania Mirza'.

5) So my Hyderabadi guys: Reality bites - so be it - and stop crying like babies

6) Shoaib and Sania: Good luck and Congrats

JGill said...

I read your blog and your tweets. I must say that I hope one day you are not at the receiving end of the put-downs and insults you hand out routinely to lesser mortals. You have vicious bones in your body (First harassing Jemima on her lack of internet savviness and now Ayesha).

On any story, no matter how truthful you are, as soon as the other side (usually more powerful male) raises its voice, it becomes a he-said, she said matter and the victim is further abused by the likes of you - people who are in love with themselves or are afraid of societal pressures etc. Even normally moral people say - "why do I want to get into the middle of this circus? I know she is right but who wants the hassle? Why do I want to risk my reputation". We see this phenomenon every day in our real-lives. There are few who have the moral courage to raise their voices for the victims.

And then likes of you have the temerity to wonder why our society does not side with the truth or the victims!!! Oh why, why do bullies rule?

In your love for your own wit, you gave lost your morality. Hope you never have to experience such a situation in your life.

Ayesha was a victim. If she cheated Shoaib, why did he not divorce her immediately upon discovery. why would he have wanted to hang on to her and have to be assoicated with his "lying in-laws". Why would he want to face jokes from reporters about his marriage and hyderbad being his "sasural"? Why would he want to visit her and want to be photographed with her? And I am not even talking about possible consummation.

Now that Ayesha fought and won, you have to degrade her further and label her a gold-digger.

If there is a total crass, classless bitch here, it is you. Please do take some time off your wittiness and indulge in some self-reflection. It would do you good.

Anonymous said...

Romeo Hyderabadi dude. remove your blinkers and see the world as it is, not as you want to be.

JGill said...

According to this news report that has interviewed elders of the community involved in getting Ayesha her divorce, her settlement is all of rupees 15,000.
http://www.zeenews.com/news617162.html

Now what say you? Bully of the first order tazneen!

Will you write an equally witty riposte on your own poor character? I guess not. Cowards like you can only marvel at their own selves

aneel said...

all else is fine.but your comment,"If the matrimonial ads of jeevansathi.com that spring up on every Indian website are to be believed, getting hitched is big shit"Incidentally,it is BIG SHIT coz we dont marry our sister,aunts,nieces.etc etc.

عنیقہ ناز said...

Tazeen, its hilarious. I too think she is a genius. Our over weight girls with no so good looks and having problems getting married should learn a lesson from her. I would like to request Aeysha to help these poor souls and gave them some guidance, she can start an online service in this regard.

Puppo Yar said...

Wah!!! readk ker kay mazza aa' gia :)
Tazeen: You have hit the spot - simply classic yar!

Indians using 'B' word on this forum really showing their mental capacity and respect for women! I'm not surprised why Aids is a biggest epidemic in that country and why baby girls are buried alive - simply cos' they all are 'B'.

JGill said...

Puppo yar - what is good for teh goose is good for the gander. If tazneen can call Ayesha all manner of names including gold-digger with absolute no proof - I can call her a crass, class bitch based upon proof - amply provided by her own writing and news articles that show that Ayesha did not get millions, measly 15K.

As for you, kissi dukaan se ja kar thodha bheja kharido. Kaam ata hey aisey mookon par

Nitin said...

Ms. Tazeen has not said anything which is wrong. It's her personal blog not a damn report of a newspaper. Just because her blog doesn't fit 'Hyderabadi Rejects' Ms. Tazeen is wrong is totally childish.

Jai Hind!

dead indian girl-child said...

do not know if JGill is an Indian. But I am.

so my dear puppo yaar. thanks for worry about females in Indian society. It produced Sania Mirza, and enabled her to reach heights of glory. It produces women world class astronauts, scientists, CEOS of global companies like Pepsico. shame, bloody shame!!!! should be more like pakistan. Should be producing self-obsessed bullies like this blogger tazeen instead. glories await!

KM said...

i'm totally enjoying the whole aman ki asha reality show. especially the bollywood music nostalgia the news channels are giving me.
that said i really think this ayesha chick shouldve just quitely divorced shoaib since he turned out to be NOT her knight in shining cricket kit. why fight for a 'supposed scumbag', which is what the whole family's been trying to portray him as. no self respecting girl or family will go on international tv to air out dirty laundry. they want silent closure.
im not doubting that they were married. he's pretty much confirmed that with his own acceptance of it. and i doubt his reasons for marrying her were entirely noble (since both counts of marriage have been indian, is it safe to assume he wanted a nationality or easy access to india and the IPL?).
not to say that sania isnt a catch for him, but Ayesha doesnt seem like someone a shallow guy like him would fall head over heel for.
and...all things said and done, i'm happy for the pair and seriously seriously our news channels should get back to reporting on all the things STILL wrong around here and stop wasting time on picture montages and background music!!!

Alpha Za said...

...and I thought I was satirically brutal.

I was entertained by your post, it was fairly potent stuff.

I'm waiting for the indian equivalent movie to come out, where in the ending Ayesha Siddiqui loses a massive amount of weight and becomes the most desirable model/actress/compere/blogger in all of India.

oh and I don't care that Shoaib married her and then pretended he didn't. Or that she's Indian or that Shoaib has a thing for Indian girls, I'm not even particularly concerned that Shoaib is banned.

What does piss me off is how so very little of the ire that is raised is directed at Shoaib.

Cricket Star or Not, we should strive to be better than blaming the ugly duckling.

Btw I think Sania Mirza acted impeccably throughout this. Good for her.

Zoobee said...

I am married to Mohammed (the yelping moron above), and am pregnant with his child... oh and I am a man! (well had a sex change - kinda - asked the doctor to leave certain important femme parts behind)

I too have a picture taken with Mohammed (the moron)...

-Zoobee

Ron said...

Right from DAY ONE , ayesha was asking for a simple DIVORCE.Nothing more.Nothing less.

Tazeen got it all wrong this time.

Otherwise,Tazeen is a fabulous blogger

Ron said...

@@All Pakistanis.....

For the last couple of years ,Media focussed on Ayesha here in India......get your facts right!!

Anonymous said...

Urgh! I'm sick of reading anything relating to SM and his never ending episode.

I read this one because it came from you! :-)

And man no wonder when this poor chap says he was duped by someone else's photos!

JGill said...

Contrary to allegations by likes of Phuppo yar, for me this is not an India-Pakistan issue. It is Tazeen issue - how she belittles poor souls who unwittingly get themselves into trouble. By using her caustic tongue and mocking these poor mortals, she thinks she is Queen of Wit. Unfortunately for her, instead of coming across as Oscar Wilde of Pakistan, she comes across as a High School "IT" girl with severely stunted intellect and maturity.

I started irregularly following her blog many, many months ago when she had the old layout. She was on the blog roll of blogs I followed. A month or so ago I started reading her tweets and was aghast at how she and her fellow tweeters treated Jemima Khan's net naivety and ignorance. It was like a scene of of a high school nightmare where a group of "IT" girls go after an unsuspecting, unknowledgeable person. They first ganged up on her and challenged her identity. Naive and Net unsavvy Jemima, instead of ignoring them did something really stupid to prove she was indeed Jemima Khan. Instead of reacting in horror and coming to Jemima;s aid and helping her take down personal stuff, what do Tazeen and her friends do? Mock her and those who came to Jemima's aid.

These are not actions of an intelligent, mature individual. These are actions of some-one hugely in love with their own selves, with not trace of compassion whatsoever. Until and unless tazeen invented internet, blogging and other social networking concepts, she also must have started at point zero and through mistakes learnt the pitfalls of internet, what to do and what not to do etc. Fortunately for tazeen, she is not a celeb and hence her mistakes cannot be mocked by people like her.

Jemima Khan episode made me uneasy. Ayesha episode confirmed my suspicions and I could not stay silent any longer.

At the end of the day, she is all sizzle and no steak. It is not enough to come up with a good turn of phrase. One has to have a good grounding of character, morals and principles to make a "FABULOUS" blogger.

Anonymous said...

It now turns out that Ayesha has Shoaib's clothes that she was willing to have DNA tested on. Shoaib may have been initially lied to, but it appears as if he accepted the marriage initially and consummated it. This makes him a lying cheat and a scoundrel of the worst order when he called her "apa".

Sania is making a bad decision. This will not end up well for her, anyway you look at it.

Sadia Shaukat said...

hey tazeen, i am not getting you are appreciating sania or discouraging Ayesha ....
Hmmmm?
I agree ayesha handled it in a bad manner, that doesn't mean she is the only to blame ....
they both (ayesha & shoaib) are responsible for that mistaked marriage ....
i have been reading open letters to sania from an indian, and now open letter to ayesha from a paki,,,
WHY NOT ANY ONE WRITES AN OPEN LETTER TO SHOAIB BHAYYA AS WELL ... hmmmmm :)

M said...

Sadia Shaukat wrote:

""WHY NOT ANY ONE WRITES AN OPEN LETTER TO SHOAIB BHAYYA AS WELL ... hmmmmm :)""

Ask and you shall have it.

OPEN LETTER TO SHOAIB:

http://www.fakingnews.com/2010/04/an-open-letter-to-shoaib-malik-hope-this-one-is-delivered/

Its WAY BETTER than Tazeen's!

Unknown said...

any half-witted person with a pea for a brain should be able to see that Ayesha manipulated the situation to her advantage and came out as a victim(?????)
no self-respecting family or girl would go public with lurid details of her alledged marrige in public, unless she is desperate for attention and more importantly as tazeen pointed out, money!!!

M said...

sehar

"no self-respecting family or girl would go public with lurid details of her alledged marrige in public"

Many "self-respecting" girls DO COME OUT IN PUBLIC if they are CHEATED in marriage.

Maybe u have are a "half-witted person with a pea for a brain"!!

Phoenixritu said...

I am totally impressed by Ayesha or her father acting on her behalf. The timing, the carefully orchestrated media buzz, the ultimate "going for the kill" and then the success (40 M INR). Impressive. So many girls in similar situation do not get any vindication, and have more claim to spousal rights than this girl seemed to have.

aslam said...

Taz you disappointed me hugely with this post.
Shoe-ab agreed to give divorce only when there was irrefutable evidence like possibility of DNA test and facing chance of arrest.
And indian police dont takes risk in indo-pak matter unless its very crystal clear. Look what indian police has been able to do in 26/11case ?

Looks like u are losing your balance. Playing to the gallery ??

noureenq said...

bravo tazeen - such a brilliant post

Anonymous said...

could people who claim Ayesha got 40m provide credible news links that tell that. Based upon all statements by elders of muslim community who brokered a compromise, all she got was 5000 rupees for 3 months.

hatim said...

Pl. read details here
Ayesha handed over to police her wedding night clothes containing traces of Shoiab. Thats why he had to admit guilt.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/sports/events-tournaments/sania-shoaib-wedding/Shoaib-agrees-to-divorce-clears-way-for-wedding/articleshow/5771946.cms

March 29 | Sania Mirza’s family confirms that she is all set to marry Pakistani cricketer Shoaib Malik in April
March 30 | Sania officially announces marriage, says will keep playing for India
March 31 | Ayesha’s father Mohammed Ahmed Siddiqui threatens legal action against Malik
April 1 | ‘Sania will only be Malik’s second wife,’ says Ayesha’s father
April 2 | Siddiqui family releases Shoaib’s ‘marriage’ certificate
April 3 | I was duped, have never met Ayesha, only ‘Maha apa’, Shoaib tells TOI
April 4 | Ayesha’s father files FIR, Shoaib charged with cruelty, cheating. Ayesha says she had an "intimate relationship" with Shoaib & suffered a miscarriage
April 5 | Cops grill Malik for 90 minutes at Sania’s residence, seize his passport & mobile phone. On same day, Shoaib, Sania address media together; Shoaib vows to clear name
April 6 | Ayesha hands over wedding night clothes, said to contain Shoaib’s semen stains, to cops. Clothes sent to forensic lab
April 7 | Malik accepts first wife, divorces Ayesha; decks cleared for marriage with Sania

Rohan Sadashiva said...

Ayesha kept clothes with Shoaib's semen from 2002? She is more pscyho than i ever thought. I dont know if it more Monika Lewinsky or Fatal Attracation

Btw, I am an Indian and i still do not buy that Shoaib ever married that Ayesha/maha woman. The woman who cannot get her own name right has got to be a tad crazy. That does not mean I fully Shoaib. He should have known better. But he is still a lucky bastard, he is gonna get Sania in the end.

Citizen X said...

@JGill

Wow dude that was accurate. I would also advice you to read her post on Afia Siddique.

That will give you more of an insight into the sick mind that posts a blog.

X

Annie said...

My issue is with the Siddiqui-Bashing.

Why o Why?..

abhishek said...

My reliable sources tell me that Ayesha is indeed the protege' of Ekta Kapoor.

Anonymous said...

How a semi literate , accidental hero----manages to hook up with an average looking girl , in a land of phenomenally ugly people ----amazes me.

I have a very black sense of humor but even I dont see the gloating pun intended at Ayesha. Never underestimate the nastiness of your own glands.

I'm that girl said...

the kind of star plus drama that's unfolding is just filthy. her saving hers and his wedding night clothes is just vile.
i also think he's a DB for consummating the marriage if she wasn't the girl from the picture.
ULTIMATELY i think its both the country's medias that are adding fuel to this filthy fire. just get over it, and please get back to the real issues!

i enjoy your blog, and some great posts have come out of here, and i'm pretty ok with this one too. these people have set them selves us for ridicule.
i did however think the whole jemima fiasco was a bit over the top, and could have been handled more maturely. you came off as a bully when you could have come off as the intelligent and informed one after she displayed her lack of internet protocol skills. i cringed while reading it.

Romeo Hyderabadi said...

For my Indian friends aka fake Hyderabadi muslims:

You are blind-sided by Shoaib's story and adamant on accepting Ms. Ayesha Siddiqi's story why:

1) Shoaib is from Pakistan
2) Sania rejected you all skinny ugly looking Indian boys and opted for a Pakistani!!!!!!
3)Ayesha Siddiki tricked Shoaib into marrying 'her' by sending fake photographs! Till this day she never came out open. Shoaib NEVER denied marriage, he maintained that he was married to the girl in the pictures not 'Ms. Motti'.
4)Indian media and Indian Gov't joined hands to do whatever to stop this marriage! Unfortunately this time matter was more in the hands of Muslim community where sense prevailed and they failed your dreams.

5) Sania is going to be a Pakistan one day! Sania kids will be in love with Pakistan.

6) We have stolen your mega superstar!!! She is ours and we are proud of it. Reality bites!!!!

M said...

Romeo Hyderabadi wrote:

"Sania rejected you all skinny ugly looking Indian boys and opted for a Pakistani!!!!!!"

Similarly

"Shoaib rejected your all HIJRA LOOKING Pakistani girls and opted for an Indian!!!!!"


Reality bites.

"Sania is going to be a Pakistan one day! Sania kids will be in love with Pakistan."

We dont give a rats ass what she does after RETIRING from tennis. By the way, she will never play for Pakistan

Reality bites.

T.Ahmed said...

Nice. I liked wht ever happened. But why are we talking about this. India Pakistan has many other issues to discuss, And i think this not the first time people are getting married cross the border, i personally know so many families belong to india or pakistan and they are happily living evr after.
Cheer up guyz, We should welcome eachother.

Sunil said...

as a regular reader of this blog, this post disappointed me.
Tazeen... tazeen... pllchhh... plcchhh.

I always thought you wrote after doing some research about the other people in your blog. But, after reading this post, it felt like some stuppid News Channel trying cheap gimmicks for some TRP.

Tazeen... tazeeen... plcch... plcchh....
Yep, its your blog, your say. You have written some gems of a posts before that got me hooked on to your blog, but this one goes down as Ugly. Just My Opinion. Just My Say. (The comments section belongs to me :P )

brksa said...

HOLY SWEET MOTHER! That divorce paper showing on tv shows Ayesha (or Maha) DATE OF BIRTH as 1973 that means she is 9 years older than Shoaib. Can't media see this? Wasn't she like around 29? lol Really she has tricked him.

Banno said...

Wish Ayesha Siddiqui reads this. Nobel Peace Prize winner. :)

Ahmed Irfan Shafqat said...

"Between you and Aafia Siddiqui, the name ‘Siddiqui’ is shinning so bright, I see many people taking it up in future for getting famous."

So you believe Aafia has deliberately landed herself in such painful and torturous circumstances...just to get famous?

Impressive!

Spica said...

:-)

I must say - the comments on your post make an amusing read most of the time. I must make it a point to read your entries a day or two after you post them!

Tina said...

oh Tazeen, you have outdone yourself. I wish Ayesha Siddiqui and her likes read it and know how much their gold digging ways hurt normal girls like us.

As for the commentators, its her personal space, she can write whatever she wants to, why pick on her?

By the way, people here in Dubai are as much excited as they are in Pakistan or India. :)

Ahsan said...

As much as I loved your post, its the comments on the post that makes a far more interesting read.

I particularly am fascinated by the JGill guy. He practically hangs onto every word you tweet or blog, hates the fact that you are famous so sides with Jemima and Ayesha who he thinks you have wronged.

He obviously have read the stories in NDTV about you being the princess of wit and he has been looking for a way to diss you and he found one here. If only he used his energies into something positive. By the way, be ware, people like him have very stalker like tendencies.

Soumya said...

hahahahaha

just saw the Times of India report. That Ayesha woman is top notch cheat. All those bhais who were defending Ayesha, where are they?

Mazloom larki, my foot. She cheated someone with criminal intent. Poor Shoaib and Sania. I feel sorry for them.

Zeba Arshad said...

Where is mr Jgill who wanted a proof of Ayesha's divorce settlement, why is he silent now.

JGill said...

Ahsan et al - look in into the mirror - if you define stalking as reading someone's blog or tweets, then you are as much of a stalker as I am. (BTW, as I said earlier, I only read her blog occasionally and I found her tweets on Jemima or Ayesha when her tweets were re-tweeted by someone whose tweets I do follow. Since this latest episode, my conclusion is there is nothing to follow with tazeen. She has shown herself to be a bully and her words prove it.


I do not possess stunted intellect or maturity to admit that new news reports have cast a lot of doubt on earlier reports quoting people who had negotiated the deal. Did tazneen and defenders of bullies like you provide links to news reports in the previous days stating that Ayesha got 40M rupees. She conjectured. The available news reports at that time stated she received 15K. When I took tazeen to task, I provided links to credible news reports with quotes from an ulema. Now new info has come forward. I stand corrected.


But I will say good for Ayesha. Was she not married to Shoaib? Did the marriage not get consummated? No body forced Shoaib to have sex with a woman who he claims is not who he thought he was marrying. If it was a phone nikkah then his consumation over the phone is a miracle of God indeed. You all should be shouting about this miracle of God from the rooftops. Why aren't you????

Shoaib cheated and has been proven a cheat. He only came clean when his hand was forced by DNA issue. If he has indeed paid 15M rupees to Ayesha as alimony, logic suggests that Ayesha must have more material on him. Someone who 2 days earlier was claiming Ayesha to be his elder sister would not be forking 15M easily. This is not a small amount of money.

Ayesha did not look good either if she cheated in order to marry him. But her wrong does not absolve Shoaib's behavior from consummating the marriage, then denying it and calling her his sister, and only doing the right thing when he was pushed into a corner!!!

IF he had divorced Ayesha as soon as he found out that she was a cheat, he would not have had to fork off his money or show the world his poor character. Instead he enjoyed marital relations with her, kept her as his wife, denyed she was his wife and finally acknowledged and paid a heavy fine. What a world class asshole


Finally, I do not need to hide, stalk or bully people like tazeen. That is tazeen's forte and I leave it to her. Don't want this expertise or need it. Thank you very much.

People saying that tazeen's stalking and bullying of Jemima on the net was OK need to get their head out of their assess. A visit to a proctologist is long overdue.


PS: I do not get my news from NDTV or any other news channel that some of you are alleging. I do not watch TV. I do not even own a TV. I get my news from google or blogs.

JGill said...

Here is the link to hindustantimes. People who negotiated the settlement say it is 15K. The rumors say it is 15M. Are rumors true? Can someone provide info that the rumors are true.
http://www.hindustantimes.com/sportscentre/Ayesha-Shoaib-divorce-paper-worth-15-crore/529406/H1-Article1-529108.aspx

JGill said...

Here is the link to hindustantimes. People who negotiated the settlement say it is 15K. The rumors say it is 15M. Are rumors true? Can someone provide info that the rumors are true.
http://www.hindustantimes.com/sportscentre/Ayesha-Shoaib-divorce-paper-worth-15-crore/529406/H1-Article1-529108.aspx

Anonymous said...

I have been fence-sitting this one. SM has proven he is a cheat on and of the ground. Why do we have to have to take pride in his antics? Do we not have better role models than him....I am with above comments on this one, if he was cheated then why did he not give talaq to her immediately?...he had relations with her and kept her as his wife which is not good at all....if he had given her talaq as soon as he discovered that she was a cheat, she would have had to pay for her lying....he enjoyed her and then called her apa. That is a NO, NO in my book....doesn't matter if she lied....if he is paying 15 crore to her than she must have good on him.

I hope it works out for Sania and SM....but I have my doubts...Sania comes across as a fiercly independent woman who has much more money and money making potential than he has...if he starts placing restrictions on her or starts behaving like a typical paindu. he will loose her....Sania will then have a very hard time getting out of the marriage, especially if there is a kid or two involved. Lets pray that SM has learnt his lesson and treats her well

Natasha said...

I hope the 'deal' will take away the depression and the weight conciousness Ayesha Baji WAS suffering with.

Good businesswoman.

commoncents said...

THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS!

I really like your blog!

Common Cents
http://www.commoncts.blogspot.com

ps. Would you care to exchange links?

Sana Karim said...

Nice post, in a different style. By the way I liked your style of writing tazeen!

I want to share a post on the same topic, hope you will be like it!

Shoaib Malik Weds Sania Mirza: What's Next?

Unknown said...

That was too funny - Shoaib Akhtar had his "bill clinton" moment. hahhahaha.

Anonymous said...

http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/2010/04/09/i-dont-think-ayesha-siddiqui-is-a-gold-digger/


Any comments from Tazeen....people are waiting here...

qasim babu said...

A lot of Indians just can't digest this marriage, hence the mudslinging at Shoaib. This fiasco even made headlines here in North America. Educated Indians know better and should know better. This story has just taken a life of its own....though the concept (if you believe a man leaving a woman for another woman) is nothing new.

i want to ask miss ayesha a few things since a lot of indians have been pointing fingers at shoaib.

1. you claim to have clothes from your wedding night. This is a cultural thing you say. How come noone else has heard of this? It is sick, disgusting and totally unislamic since it involves dirtiness. Even non muslims clean their clothes of bodily fluids....and you claim to be a muslim. Your dad claims to be a scholar he should have taught you better. Also who has clothes on during sex? i doubt Shoaib is that religious he'd agree to that. Or did he suffer premature ejaculation seeing your gorgeous body?

2. If you went as far as sex,,, I want to know another thing. A lot of Indians...including some hosts of Times NOw...who are a disgrace to journalism....are simply saying ...."see...he said there was nikah...surely he must be married and lied." Well as most of us nonignorant people know marriage involves other rituals too. Where are pictures of your mehndi? Where are pictures of walima? where are pictures of barath?

Are you telling me that Shoaib Malik insisted,none of these events take place, yet once he arrived at your place....he took you to a hotel....and did you???
was your father that desperate to make you happy? Did he not learn his lesson from your sister's previous marriages??

3. Even the poorest couples that get married...have rings...and even jopdiwale have 1 picture of the bride/groom. yet we have seen none here folks. Not even one.

4. As much as I'd like to believe you. I can't. You never come on live...because you know you have lied. And a liar can never face the music. here again notice how not once did the Indian media pressure her to come out. Instead they kept playing a crappy video of hers from long time ago.

To sum up:

No wedding pics, no couple pics , no live pics.

Miss Siddiqui one day you will have to answer to God. Shoaib isnt the prime example of a Muslim. I don't even care about him or his wedding. But the fact that people like you exist who are out to simply ruin others lives speaks volumes of your character and those that surround you and support you. Mark my words people....one day the truth will be exposed on this woman...and that day Indian media will simply push it to 3rd page.

I wanted to believe this girl for so long, but she showed no proof...and all I saw was Shoaib being cornered and forced to act a certain way. Indian cops : " Listen Shoaib,,,,we have your passport....we have complaints against you.....sign these papers....or things get worse." What freedom.

Pallavi Sharma said...

Lovely post.
The Indian version of the story was that Shoaib had to pay Rs.5000 each for three months as settlement, and that he paid the 15000 upfront.
Hah.
Does anyone know who's being fooled here? I guess we all are. It's a ridiculous drama.

Gypsy Girl said...

Hey tazeen!

Love the post! While i do believe that Malik married ayesha- i think the media circus ayesha created and the kind of marriage she had don't say much about her or malik. And ofcourse the timing was all about going for the kill. She had freaking 8 years to divorce her man with feet of clay.

To everyone who seems to be going after tazeen for having an opinion: get real. You seem to be going after her coz she has an opinion of her own. And esp since it differs from yours. You're welcome to yours and she's welcome to hers. And it is her blog. If you don't like it- Don't read it!

Barkha said...

Sania Shoeab to be family planning ambassadors of Pakistan.
Will his castration be shown live on TV ?

fauzia said...

For all the ppl who are defending ayesha aapa:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMpbjP9LiwA&feature=player_embedded

Majaz said...

lol. cute post!

Anonymous said...

Some people may require evidence. Why not go to the source. Here people who have been scammed by Maha (aka Ayesha) and her family spill the beans. Why not decide about this after reading the evidence?

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000948560965&ref=profile#!/group.php?gid=112289282123631&ref=mf

Maya S said...

Some people may require evidence. Why not go to the source. Here people who have been scammed by Maha (aka Ayesha) and her family spill the beans.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000948560965&ref=profile#!/group.php?gid=112289282123631&ref=mf

Fauzia said...

Maya ! u r right ! I live in saudi arab, n here in Jeddah all ppl know abt this Maha gang. She's not the one girl (Sorry woman) but there is a gang of old Indian Embassy girls who were used to do this. Guys ! just try to match this woman with that sweet voice( which we heard on TV channels), if its her voice, we can understand that Shoaib n other boys wud b trapped in that voice(or in other words, shoaib wud b in love with that sweet voice) but can anyone believe that after meeting that aapa, Shoaib even married to that Woman ??
Hyderabad's Muslim community were the first ppl in India, who shouted after Sania's marriage announcement, "HOW CAN SHE MARRY A PAKISTANI???" Now suddenly they came in between to finish the mess, n when Media asked them, who ws wrong, they replied, "Finish this who ws wrong or right, we just finished the mess!" So, what do u think guys ! the ppl who hate Sania, only bcoz she is marrying a Pakistani, they r now hiding Shoaib's mistake??? NO !!!!!! They r securing an INDIAN GIRL ! Not only that one Indian girl MAHA SIDDIQUI but the other girls like MONA, REEMA to whom Shoaib wanted to exposed ! As, Shoaib called these 2 names in Media, suddenly Hyderabadi community came in between to finish all ! bcoz, they hv to secure there community's respect, not Shoaib's! If they were so sweet that they wanted to hid Shoaib's mistake, y the hell they announced to file a new case on him, just at the day, he has to bring his wife Pakistan????

Unknown said...

Hi Tazeen

Great blog!
Azme Alishan would like to congratulate you on winning at Pakistan's first ever blog awards!

Such initiatives make us proud to be Pakistanis. Together we can take Pakistan to great heights of success!

Do visit our wevbsite www.azmealishan.com

gold digger said...

this really is epic!