What's a pressure cooker, we live in Pakistan

Back in 2006, my friends and I went to National stadium Karachi to see a match between West Indies and Pakistan. Though it had nothing to do with the match, for every Boom Boom poster we’ve made, we made one that said Darryl Hair Sucks. For cricket fans in Pakistan, umpire Darryl Hair was the most despised human being that year. Last year, it was the bookie par excellence Mr. Mazhar Majeed (those who are on twitter and want to tell him personally what a ch**t piece he is can do it here). During this world cup, Pakistan cricket team’s number 1 enemy seems to be Mr. Ian Chappell.

Chappel has had problems with everything; from our idiot of a captain to our team huddle to the celebrations by the same captain. Everything we do seem to rile him up. In addition, he thinks we are not capable of winning the world cup because we cannot beat three teams in a row. Mr Chappell is of the opinion that “Mahendra Singh Dhoni is a much calmer leader than Shahid Afridi” and that India under Dhoni is more capable of taking pressure on than Pakistan under Afridi.

Now don’t get me wrong; I think Dhoni is one of the smartest Indian cricketers and he is one hell of a fighter but things are not as stacked against him as they are against our Lala. Lala lost two of his front line bowlers last year to the spot fixing scandal, he has been playing his home series in places as varied as Dubai and England, he has not played a single game in front of his home crowd since March 2009, but he still managed to galvanize a traditionally fractioned team into a cohesive unit where everyone (barring Kamran Akmal) is doing what they are supposed to do to the best of their abilities. Mind you, he does not even have the human resource that some of our past captains have had at their disposal yet he still managed to get team Pakistan in the last four, something that eluded us in the past two world cups. If this is what idiocy is capable of, then I say bring on some more of the same madness – Lala’s brand of madness. Considering the lives we all live and the battles we all fight everyday for mere survival, I think no one can handle pressure better than a Pakistani and our men in green are just as capable of surviving the pressure cooker in Mohali as anyone else, if not more.

Lala's brand of madness

The other person who is being booed by Pakistanis, though with a little less intensity, is ICC chief Haroon Lorgat. To say that Pakistanis have been irked by his wish for a fairy tale ending for Sachin Tendulkar would be putting it mildly. Mr Lorgat wishes/believes that India will win the semi final and that Sachin Tendulkar will get to make his 100^th century in International cricket in Mubai in front of his home crowd which will be an awesome end to the little master’s career. It seems that ICC chief, who should have been impartial, has actually not been impartial and if his words are to be taken seriously, then the whole tournament is organized not to see which team has performed best, but to provide that fairy tale ending to the Indian cricket team in general and to one Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar in particular.

Mr Lorgat sucking up to Indians

I wish team Pakistan goes on to win the Semi final and the final so that we can rub it on Mr Lorgat’s face.

Here is wishing the men in green all the good luck, I hope you bring the cup back with you and give us something to smile about.

The idiot who will do the trick

Some awesome men in green

Awwwww